Christmas jokes are a comedic style we welcome into our lives during the holiday season, much like carols. The term Christmas jokes covers a broad spectrum, including very funny Christmas jokes and a fair number of bad Christmas jokes. The holiday-themed jokes are the type of humor that makes us feel good on the inside but not in a way we would ever admit it aloud.
Christmas is a time for family and friends with comedy functioning as a wonderful device that unites us. Shared jokes or comical anecdotes on life, both true and fictional, help create bonds that stand the test of time. Christmas Dad jokes are an excellent example of this. Few people have negative memories of their dad’s cheesy Christmas cracker-style jokes—no matter how embarrassing we found them to be as children. The festive season additionally acts as a beacon, drawing corny Christmas jokes to it like moths to a flame. The general joviality of December lends itself to a silly sort of humor as the cheap, corny attempts at getting a laugh would normally beckon in tumbleweeds during any other month.
The abundance of Christmas jokes for kids also speaks volumes about how Christmas brings out the big kid in all of us. Kids’ Christmas jokes entertain us because they are simple, funny, and remind us of easier times. The month of December has an undeniable magical quality to it, and for just a few weeks, everybody allows themselves the chance to enjoy life and be happy about silly things. That’s not to say there are no Christmas jokes for adults. However, adult Christmas jokes are not the vulgar and overtly sexual fare many are used to. Adult Christmas jokes instead tend to touch on elements of life children do not understand or cannot yet relate to but still do so in a festive and slightly more immature way. Christmas jokes for adults demonstrate their fair share of kinky or naughty jokes, but on the whole, offer a more subdued degree of comedy than other seasons.
Christmas-themed humor is laden with other types of subjects such as the following four examples. The first example includes Santa jokes and jokes about Christmas presents—both of which no Christmas comedy set would be complete without. Entertaining Christmas tree jokes serve as a second example, the quips being bound to get a few laughs for the intrepid jokester with a willingness to explore outside of the box. A third example is funny Christmas knock-knock jokes. You will find an abundance of Christmas knock-knock jokes due to the pull of the Christmas season. Such humor is guaranteed to get a few laughs from the younger audience. A final example is for those that like to flirt the line of absurdity with their humor styles. Short Christmas jokes and one-liners pose some interesting rhetorical questions that will leave people chuckling as they scratch their heads and wonder how much eggnog you’ve managed to drink.
The Christmas season lifts the spirits with a gentleness that leaves us all feeling that little bit younger. Telling Christmas jokes, whether funny or bad, goes a long way to keeping that mindset alive. Everybody talks about the spirit of Christmas, and Christmas jokes are undoubtedly one of the secret ingredients that makes it all come together. Below, we dish out 109 Christmas jokes that will keep you laughing throughout the festivities.
12 Funny Christmas jokes guaranteed to make you laugh
Funny Christmas jokes abound during the festive season and capture everything we love about Christmas. Christmas and comedy often travel hand in hand, spanning from Christmas crackers to seasonal cheer and the everlasting month-long concept of goodwill to all men. Funny Christmas jokes do not follow a single theme. The quips instead spread themselves across the full festive humor spectrum, serving as a demonstration of the breadth of jokes available. The most constant aspect of funny Christmas jokes is their near-universal appeal. You have outliers that deserve a more specific or niche audience, but Christmas jokes are largely palatable to any audience.
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Below are 12 funny Christmas jokes perfect for any occasion during the holiday season.
1. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?
You get tinselitis!
2. What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
Wait, there’s myrrh.
3. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Their days are numbered!
4. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me, and we’ll go places!
5. How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas?
They use Santa-tizer.
6. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
7. Where would you find a snowman dancing?
At a snowball!
8. Why does Ebenezer Scrooge refuse to eat at Italian restaurants?
Because they cost a pretty penne!
9. What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas?
‘Tis the season to be jelly!
10. Why do Christmas trees like the past so much?
Because the present’s beneath them.
11. Why doesn’t Santa go to the hospital?
He has private elf care.
12. In what key do you play songs for a Nativity play?
A don-key.
12 Christmas dad jokes to make you groan
Christmas Dad jokes are a special kind of festive joke. Most Christmas jokes have a childish simplicity to them, but Christmas Dad jokes take things one step further. Dad jokes are ironically humorous because they are unfunny quips that dads have an innate ability to tell. Christmas Dad jokes amplify the cheesiness of typical dad jokes by jumping on the back of festive goodwill and people’s eagerness to laugh during the season.
Below are 12 Christmas Dad jokes to get you in the festive spirit.
13. What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
‘I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’
14. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.
15. What did Santa say when he stepped into a big puddle?
It must have reindeer.
16. How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed!
17. What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking backward!
18. What do you call a broke Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
19. How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
20. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia!
21. What do reindeer decorate their trees with?
Horn-aments.
22. How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life.
23. Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?
He was searching for some holiday spirit.
24. Who delivers Christmas presents to sharks?
Santa Jaws.
12 Christmas jokes for kids that never fail
Christmas jokes for kids are the primary form of Christmas jokes. We divide Christmas humor into sub-niches, but when all is said and done, Christmas jokes are largely for kids due to the themes involved. People confuse Christmas jokes for kids with stupid or unfunny humor. Although children’s humor is uncomplicated, that doesn’t mean Christmas jokes for kids don’t have the ability to be clever. There is a beautiful simplicity about Christmas jokes for kids that fits the season perfectly and captures the blissful nature of the holiday.
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Below are 12 Christmas jokes for kids that will entertain the whole family.
25. What do snowmen eat for dessert?
Ice crispies.
26. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
27. What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
28. How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.
29. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
30. What is an elf’s favorite sport?
North-pole vaulting.
31. What kind of photos do elves take?
Elfies!
32. What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
33. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles.
34. What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!
35. What do you call an elf that just won the lottery?
Welfy.
36. How do you scare a snowman?
Pull out a hair dryer.
10 Christmas knock-knock jokes to have you in stitches
Christmas knock-knock jokes take all that is light and fun about Christmas and place it into a familiar package. Christmas knock-knock jokes are a comedic familiarity that anchors us even when life gets stressful—similar to a pair of socks from your aunty or a knitted sweater from your grandma. Good knock-knock jokes tell a short story and use clever or silly puns as their punchline. Christmas knock-knock jokes are definitely more for the youngsters in a family, but the holiday season luckily brings out the kid in us all.
Below are 10 of the best Christmas knock-knock jokes to tell this December.
37. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Holly.
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!
38. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive Christmastime, don’t you?
39. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open these presents until Christmas!
40. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Avery.
Avery who?
Avery Merry Christmas to you!
41. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow time to waste, let’s get those decorations up quick!
42. Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
43. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna partridge in a pear tree.
44. Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good Christmas joke?
45. Knock knock
Who’s there?
Chris.
Chris who?
Christmas!
46. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to know what you’re getting for Christmas!
6 Witty Christmas jokes and one-liners to make you think before you laugh
Christmas jokes or one-liners are not often designed to be thought-provoking. However, sometimes humor makes you ponder the absurd for just a moment. Christmas jokes and one-liners consequently offer a different slant to holiday humor. Christmas one-lines pose nonsensical, often rhetorical questions that never fail to generate at least a pity-driven chortle.
Below are 6 witty short Christmas jokes and one-liners to make you think as much as you laugh.
47. Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
48. Avoid taking your Christmas lights down; just turn your house into an Italian restaurant.
49. There are three stages to aging: Believes in Santa. Doesn’t believe in Santa. Becomes Santa!
50. Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
51. Santa is always so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
52. Artificial Christmas trees really should be called faux firs!
10 Corny Christmas jokes that shouldn’t be funny
Corny Christmas jokes take the reigns offered by Christmas Dad jokes and run with it as far as they can. The art of telling corny Christmas jokes is in their deadpan delivery. You should deliver corny punchlines about Christmas with a nonchalance that surpasses disinterest. For example, use an off-the-cuff line that you know is groan-worthy and make no attempt to hide it as being anything else. The best time and place for corny Christmas jokes is when the family is all gathered together, young and old alike. Family gatherings are ideal because it’s a time when spirits are high, and laughs come free and easy.
Below are 10 corny Christmas jokes that truly are the gifts that keep on giving.
53. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
54. What’s the politically correct name for Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
55. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack!
56. What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter “Y!”
57. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
58. What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?
Snow!
59. What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you!
60. What’s the most festive herb?
Christmas thyme.
61. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
62. Why can’t penguins fly?
Because you need to be at least 6 feet tall to become a pilot!
10 Bad Christmas jokes you can’t help but re-tell
Bad Christmas jokes are not bad per se, but rather, bad Christmas jokes are funnier because of their obvious and often unhumorous nature. Everybody knows a few bad jokes, and let’s be honest, everybody loves bad jokes. Telling bad Christmas jokes is an art form unlike any other. Christmas is the best time of year to break out the bad jokes because everybody is already in such good humor that it doesn’t take much to put a smile on their faces. Bad Christmas jokes play on the easygoing nature of festive feelings and hurl puns and punchlines so obvious you laugh rather than admit you should have seen them coming. Christmas crackers are the ideal place to find bad Christmas jokes, which extends to the dinner table. When your audience is stuffed, and the post-feast drowse is beginning to hit, bad Christmas jokes are often at their most hilarious.
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Below are 10 bad Christmas jokes that you just can’t help but keep telling year after year.
63. What’s the absolute best Christmas present?
A broken drum. You can’t beat it!
64. Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey because it’s always stuffed.
65. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol?
Silent Night.
66. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.
67. What does a grumpy sheep say when his friends tell him Merry Christmas?
Baaaa humbug!
68. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!
69. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
They’re into all the wrapping.
70. What’s the difference between Santa and a knight?
One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.
71. What’s the most popular Christmas carol in the desert?
Oh caaamel ye faithful.
72. Why does Rudolph fly?
Because he can’t drive!
10 Santa jokes that are better than any gift this Christmas
Santa is central to Christmas, so it’s only natural that there is a plethora of jokes that come at his expense. Hopefully, the big man has a sense of humor because not all Santa jokes portray him in a great light. Santa jokes go in various directions, each offering something unique. The true dexterity of Santa jokes comes from their ability to be both pun-based as well as traditionally punchline-driven affairs.
Below are 10 iconic Santa jokes that are the best gift you could give at Christmas time.
73. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia!
74. What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s workshop?
A rebel without a Claus!
75. What is Santa’s dog’s name?
Santa Paws!
76. What’s Santa’s favorite snack?
Crisp Pringles.
77. What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?
A Holly Davidson!
78. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
79. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing. It was on the house!
80. What is Santa’s favorite pizza?
One that’s deep-pan, crisp, and even!
81. How does Santa measure his bag?
In Santa-meters.
82. Why does Santa use a chimney?
Because it soots him.
6 Creative Christmas tree jokes to tell your friends
Christmas tree jokes are a rare form of yuletide humor. The rarity is due to Christmas trees playing an arguably small part of the season and as benign inanimate objects, they are not known for their humorous disposition. However, some quick-witted comics have the capabilities to work with even the thinnest of material and create a set of jokes that deliver a good laugh.
Below are 6 creative Christmas tree jokes to tell your friends.
83. Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?
Wood-row Wilson.
84. What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed?
It started its own branch.
85. How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?
They spruce up!
86. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Orna-mints!
87. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?
Spruce Springsteen.
88. What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
A pineapple!
10 Amazing jokes about Christmas presents
Jokes about Christmas presents are a mixed bag of cheeky and simple humor. Presents are a big part of Christmas. Kids lay awake at night in anticipation of a tree laden with gifts, and as such, the gifts themselves become the prime targets of Christmas humor. The important thing to remember with jokes about Christmas presents is that you are not mocking anybody for their gifts—but rather making jokes about everything surrounding the gift-giving process.
Below are 10 awesome jokes about Christmas presents that are always good for a holiday chuckle.
89. I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.
She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.”
So I bought her nothing.
90. I just bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas.
It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.
91. I can always predict what’s inside a Christmas present.
It’s a gift.
92. My wife said if she didn’t like my Christmas gift, she’d burn it.
So I got her a candle.
93. How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Just one. After that, it’s not empty!
94. Why is a foot a good Christmas gift?
It fits right in a stocking.
95. Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get a Christmas present?
Because the rest of the letters were not-E.
96. My wife has set a limit on how much we spend on each other this Christmas.
It’s $50 on me and $1,000 on her.
97. I asked my son what he wants me to get him for Christmas.
He said, “Google Glasses!”
I said, “OK, but I already know what glasses are!”
98. Why didn’t Captain Nemo get any Christmas presents?
Because he was on the Nautilus.
11 Naughty (but nice) Christmas jokes for adults
Christmas jokes for adults are another unique blend of humor styles. There are some filthy adult jokes about Christmas, but the majority of them are on a more PG-13 level. Naughty but nice Christmas jokes for adults stay with the lighthearted spirit of the season and, as such, offer a much tamer assortment of jokes. The common misconception about Christmas jokes for adults is that they need to be rude, but in reality, adult jokes deal with themes children struggle to understand or should not be aware of. Christmas jokes for adults can be sexual, but they can also be political, pop cultural, or about a time gone by. Not all adults or the jokes they tell need to be crude.
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Below are 11 naughty but nice Christmas jokes for adults, best told while the children lay nestled in bed.
99. How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work, and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
100. Why did Rudolph’s sister get A’s at school?
Because she also went down in history!
101. Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every single buck is dear to him!
102. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
103. What is Santa Claus’ laundry detergent of choice?
Yule-Tide.
104. Why was Joe Biden sacked as Nativity Manager?
Because he couldn’t run a stable government!
105. Did you know there’s talk that Santa’s not allowed to go down chimneys anymore?
Apparently, it’s been declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.
106. Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.
107. What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are just ornamental.
108. Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
Because he only comes once a year.
109. If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas…
Can I visit between the holidays?
What is Christmas humor?
Christmas humor is a fully festive style of comedy that embraces everything fun about the Yuletide season. Christmas humor is all about telling jokes related to and capturing the spirit of Christmas. True Christmas humor spans many different directions and sub-comic niches. That said, a general rule of thumb when telling Christmas jokes or any style of humor is to keep things fun. Fun comedy doesn’t just mean childish quips but instead keeps things light and festive. Christmas humor as a whole may deviate, but the brand of comedy is generally wholesome, lighthearted, and appropriate for the season.