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They’re coming. Slowly and incessantly, they’re coming. When the zombie apocalypse happens, the world will be separated into two groups: the prepared and the dead. If you want to survive the undead horde, join us to explore ten ways to prepare yourself and look good doing it. From zombie proof housing to an army of robotic defenders, these systems will keep you alive during the coming zombie apocalypse.
Zombie Proof House
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On a good day, this home is a luxurious, contemporary mansion with all the amenities one could ask for. On a bad day, this home can close upon itself, lock into place in minutes, and become a nearly impenetrable fortress. The “Safe House” by KWK Promes was designed with zombies in mind and is perhaps the first of its kind. When closed, the interior of the home is protected by nearly a foot of concrete in all directions, plus a steel shutter and a retractable drawbridge that connects to a second building. The roof will provide ample space for solar panels, rooftop gardens and walkways for scouting the horde beyond. This home was buzzed all over the web after it was completed, and it just so happens to be the perfect home from which to survive the plague of zombies that could be on its way…
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Zombie Proof Car: the Conquest Knight XV
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It doesn’t get much more bad-ass than this. The Conquest Knight XV isn’t a vehicle retro-fitted with armor systems, it’s an armored SUV hand-built with military-grade stopping power. It’ll stop bullets, it’ll survive grenades, it’ll push through swarms of zombies and it’ll look damn good doing it. The Knight XV is basically a hummer killer, a rare armored SUV that’ll protect you on the road from just about any civilian/undead threat. Surprisingly, inside that thick, firewalled skin is a green heartbeat. The Conquest Knight XV features a flex-fueled engine capable of burning petrol and home-made biofuels alike.
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Zombie Proof Food Sources
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You’ve got your house, you’ve got your car, but neither are going to fill your belly when you’re hungry. Surviving the zombie-apocalypse is about more than just shelter and transportation, it’s about safely fulfilling the base requirements for human life. Since the horde beyond will make hunting and gathering a dangerous undertaking, you’re left with two safe options for food– storage and production. Before the zombie bug hits, you’ll want to store non-perishable foods in case of emergency. We suggest you stockpile some military MREs (Meal’s Ready to Eat)– they’re far from gourmet, but will keep you sated in a pinch. That doesn’t mean you can’t eat like a king– to do so, you’ll have to grow your own fruits, vegetables… and even fish.
Since space and water will be precious commodities after the zombie apocalypse, we suggest you ditch the dirt and go hydroponic. Chef John Mooney of Bell Book & Candle NYC, pictured above, grows virtually all of his restaurant’s produce on his roof in Manhattan. Mooney uses an array of aeroponic tower gardens to grow metric tons of produce in a limited space. The tower gardens use no soil, just an intermittent spray of water and nutrients throughout the day. We suggest you take yet another step further and employ aquaponics, the mutual cultivation of vegetables and fish in a closed-loop system. The fish waste feeds the plants, the plants filter the water and you ultimately harvest and eat both, using less than 10% of the water used in traditional farming. You’ll have your own little zombie-free oasis with these technologies, and it’ll taste a lot better than brains.
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Zombie Proof Water Sources
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Without access to fresh, clean water, you might as well just throw yourself to the horde. Chances are, the local utility services will be inactive, so you’ll need to source and clean your own water. The easiest method is rainwater capture and storage, and a prime example of this technique is the networked rain barrels above as designed by Chad Person. These systems attach to your gutters and can capture and store 200 gallons of water ready for reuse or treatment. If you use rain, an underground aquifer or a nearby stream as your water source, you’re still going to need to treat it. A reverse osmosis filtration system should remove all the nastiness and provide good, clean drinking water. As a last resort, we suggest checking out the Air Drop, a new invention by Edward Linacre that harvests water straight out of thin air by solar-powered condensation.
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Zombie Proof Power Sources
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Without power, how are you going to light your home, run your aqua farm, cook your food and watch George Romero movies? With a smart investment in wind, geothermal or solar power, you’ll have clean, free power for decades. Even if the zombie apocalypse doesn’t happen (blasphemy, I know!), you’ll be reaping the benefits long after your system pays for itself. The down side– there is a hefty cost to start out with these technologies. That doesn’t mean you need to immediately dive in to a fully off-grid system providing 20,000 watts per hour. You can start small and build over time. We suggest picking up a pair of 60 or 80 watt solar panels and an inverter/battery system. A pair of 80-watt panels will run you $400 a piece, and the Xantrex xPower 1500 portable inverter/battery will run another $400. That system will generate plenty of power per hour, and store 1500 watts of backup power for a rainy, zombie-filled day.
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Apocalypse-Ready Tools
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Imagine this: there’s a dozen zombies on your tail. You’re running frantically toward the only standing building nearby, hoping for shelter. The door is boarded up and bolted shut. Without the right tools, this and a thousand other scenarios will end in a bloody feast where you are the main course. Since carrying around a toolbox sucks, the right multi-tool is the ticket. We dig the Leatherman SuperTool 300, a pocket-sized do-it-all sidearm with 19 tools in one. With this, you’ve got wire cutters, a saw blade, knives, pliers and the all-important bottle opener for post-battle brews.
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Zombie-Ready Weapons: Magnificent Melee
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The axe is the ultimate zombie defense weapon. Think about it– there’s no back-splatter like a sword or a knife, it bludgeons as well as it cuts, and it never runs out of ammo. Since style points are important for the discerning zombie hunter, these axes are, well… the brains of the bunch. The fine, hand-made Base Camp axes above come in an array of old-world styles, while the Best Made Co. axes are light-weight and versatile, plus that sweet leather sling looks baller on a post-apocalyptic street. Whether you’re cutting wood or werewolf, these axes are truly killer.
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Zombie Ready Weapons: Fantastic Firearms
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In a perfect world, guns would only exist for two reasons– video games and zombie hunting. For the latter, we suggest three guns to hold down the fort. First, you’re going to need a sniper rifle to thin out the horde from afar. Such a weapon is also a cure for boredom when times get dull. As groups approach, you’ll want to switch to an assault rifle that can put out a burst of bullets in a short time. Last, a sub machine gun should clean up any short range stragglers if things get out of hand. Just be careful, because the more sound you make, the more zombies you attract. Sometimes it’s better to arm yourself with silence than it is to wage war. If you must fire a shot, take one long range with a sniper rifle, and be sure to look for silencing options when you build your arsenal.
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Futuristic Zombie-Ready Security Systems
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Here’s the fun part– why put yourself in harm’s way when you can just send your robotic minions off to do your bidding? Flying drones and robotic soldiers are becoming more common, and getting your own might be possible if have the right connections or can grease a few palms. The Vanguard Shadowhawk, shown above, is a drone helicopter that can be outfitted with grenade launchers, shotguns, cameras, you name it. Send this one off to a horde a mile away, and use it to remotely wreak havoc on your mindless enemies. For ground patrols, we suggest the Mega Hurtz Tactical Robot by designer Chris Rogers. Mega Hurtz was designed for non-lethal purposes, but with a few simple modifications, it’ll fire bullets, not paintballs. Last, higher ground and a clear line of sight is important for managing your minions or simple reconnaissance. The ICX Skywatch system is a mobile tower which can be raised up to 25 feet in the air above a secure base that zombies can climb or topple. These were used by police and secret service at the 2008 inauguration of President Obama, providing birds-eye scouting and force to defend against attacks. Just imagine how useful these could be against the undead…
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Zombie-Ready Urban Security Suit
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When venturing out of safety, it’s important to protect yourself from all manner of cuts, scratches and flesh wounds which could transmit the zombie plague. You don’t need to worry about stopping bullets, which is what most body armor is designed for. You need zombie-proof security suits, designed with tight-fitting, light-weight armor that is tear resistent and as tough as nails. The Urban Security Suit by Tim Smit fits these parameters. We’d add some d3o impact protection and maybe some liquid climate control if we had our way with a suit like this. Anything that can get you through a close-quarter zombie attack without a wound will keep you alive to fight another day.
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Thanks for reading, fellow zombie hunters and survivors of the apocalypse. Know a friend, follower or facebooker that should read this? Email, tweet and share this article on facebook– you just might save a life doing so! Hey, even if this zombie plague is a thing of fiction, it sure is fun to talk about… In the mean time, check out these other features from TheCoolist that you might love:
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